Asra's Gallery

This will be a place where I can share my art in whatever form that takes. Sometimes I paint, other times I draw (or doodle)-
I have tried my hand art carving, and melting beads. So, anything could end up here really. I also tend to make talismans or work on other such magical tools and items. 
Each piece of art has a meaning, sometimes, the meaning is not so obvious...and sometimes, I have yet to even figure out the meaning myself. But it is there. Art can be empowering, it can be healing, it can be inspiring. So, let us see where our art takes us.

A painting of a memory...a time where I felt so powerful and yet, I could not have been more lost, broken, and vulnerable. 
Last year, there was something gnawing at me, a feeling, like a tickling of a memory that was failing to come back...no...not failing..."refusing" to emerge. It was a strange thing and then, when I realised what that memory was, it was because of this singular image: the shadowy figure...no gender...no real features...just shadow...watching...observing...and judging. This of course was reflective of my time living in Germany, a time that feels almost like a strange fever dream despite the fact that I had lived it. 
I had been with the Sith Academy as their prophet, and I watched their slow decline. The disappearing of Imperius left me alone to share the visions of endarkenment with those who still remained loyal to the Dark Lords, and upon Imperius' return, the Sith Academy quickly spiraled out of control when it moved from a movement of empowerment to a movement of money. No longer a spiritual group...an army...we were supposed to become some cooperate model where Masters paid to teach and only the Dark Lords reaped the benefits. My final prophecy before I left said that unless they went back to how things were, the Sith Academy would never succeed...they would never have what they once did...and so far, that prophecy has held up. 

But what does this have to do with a painting? 
Sometimes...the hardest things to leave are those things most toxic to you, the things that no longer serve you. A cult can feel like home, and even though I stood firm in my decision, I quickly spiraled after leaving, feeling lost and devoid of purpose, and wondering where I might go. I tried to dig my heels into other Temples and Orders but, my reputation preceeded me and I was never given a chance to prove that I had a mind outside of the brainwashing of Sith Academy. But then...I found purpose, drive, and power elsewhere...in someone I had often described in my past as "the most evil person I know". Sometimes this still holds true. And that person...or thing (at the time), went by Mortose.

Darkness...is interesting. I am a creature well equipped in duality. For as much as people consider me to be more "light", I have also been said to be the most manipulative person many people know and I can tap into the darkness quite easily to serve my purposes. Favored. It is easy to become favored. Be it through ego or intelligence, even my etiquette or my quirks...I once again found my purpose learning under another and in this learning, I dipped my toes for the very first time into the "undercurrent". How do you describe nothingness? How do you describe an absolute void with no sound, no color. It is something beyond human comprehension and yet, I felt it...I lived in it...and for a moment...I feel it drove me mad. Not for a real "moment/second" mind you...months. Months I writhed over this feeling, fearing my very sanity would shatter into pieces over this nightmare I had experienced. All of it...orchestrated by the shadow, by the monster, by Mortose. But...I loved it. 

To this day I still credit this moment with helping me build so much more in my life...especially the power to take back the life I thought I had lost to things like abuse and bad relationships. So...have you figured it out? Like the butterflies who feed on flesh when there is nothing else around to sustain them...this power was like that flesh, keeping me alive, building my drive. And it tainted me in a way, but it did not kill me, nor did it make me "ugly". So...do with that blurb as you will.